No longer a dog

I’m beginning to think in color again

Tell me

What’s your favorite

I’ll make it into a film to put over my eyeglasses

Even if it’s black


Sometimes the blind can see more than others

And I must be

Because when I look at you I see all the beautiful things most people forget about

The green of strawberry seeds

Butterfly wing oranges


The blue I imagine fairies wear

And some strange unnameable iridescence.


You’ve inspired me to create again

To write words only I will understand

To dance alone around my room to

A playlist I’ve been working on for you


That I’ll never have the courage to send sober;


I’m trying to stay sober

To remember the way your teeth look from where I’m standing

Or laying down

looking at your skin and hair and the different parts of you

Wondering what it would be like to be a part of you.


I’ll sit at your feet beneath the dinner table

Not begging for food


Only eating what you do not


I’ve found that just being near you


Makes me feel



Perhaps not a dog today


But a plant

A pretty succulent you can put on your sill and forget about

Your light constantly feeding me;

what a lovely decoration I make.


I learned about photosynthesis in elementary school

Which was the last time I felt this way

The last time the thought of someone made me think in color

Only now I’m old enough to say things like


He makes me feel high when I’m sober and sobers me when I’m in a daze outside of his

Except this time

he is you.


I’ll sit next to you at lunch every day


Ask to borrow your crayons


(I melted mine down the other day)

And draw your portrait while you’re not looking



The skin will be periwinkle


And when I cry over the picture

The tears will run off your wax flesh


It seems as though nothing can get through you

And maybe that’s for the best


Sometimes the blind can see more than others

And maybe that’s why you hardly look at me


Or maybe

I just couldn’t find the right color to draw your eyes.



if the next time I see you,


you notice the turning of a kaleidoscope somewhere in the creases of my eyes,

Just know that all the colors I see

Are colors named after you.